Have you ever wondered what it is about cheap stuffed toys, bad chocolate, dead roses and loud hues of red and pink that just scream ‘love?’ Unfortunately, you’re all alone. I mean who doesn’t love annual capitalists holidays designed to make you feel lonely, insecure, or as if your partner just isn’t doing enough?
Think about it, like really think about it. Is this a beautiful day to celebrate love that came from the mystical ancient Rome or was it created by Archies to sell a glorified piece of paper? I mean nothing says love like an Archies card that about a few hundred thousand other people got, written by someone whose entire job is to rhyme things with “you” and “love”.
Also, are we completely going to ignore the fact that this day is riddled with heteronormative double standards? A day designed to “woo” women where men declare their “undying love” by buying hearts, roses and chocolates so hopefully they get something extra in the bedroom. Is it absolutely impossible to imagine that women can want something noncommittal and men can want to be cheesy?
And lastly, when you look at lingerie ads marketed for Valentine’s Day, expensive heart-shaped macaroons, or bouquets of a 100 roses (because something small is never enough), remember that the only reason, literally the only reason, that you’re not on the receiving end of those things is because no one loves you. Obviously, you’re an unlovable ogre if you don’t fit the ideal body type, if you can’t afford expensive fancy dinners, if you’re gay, or, and most importantly, if you’re single.
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