By Meharr Talwar and Rusheen Bansal
Online dating, a new curveball the evolution of the internet has thrown us, tends to yield mixed experiences for people. While some may actually find genuinely healthy relationships, illustrated by the countless videos on YouTube recounting that wonderful experience, others may simply encounter disastrous blind dates and immense confusion.
What was once branded as “shady” activity has now garnered widespread acceptance. Online dating has become increasingly popular since the last decade, with 18% of all the people who got engaged in the US in 2018 met on a dating app. This clearly illustrates the diminished stigma around the concept of dating, which would instill fear of looking too desperate. In fact, it is now the second most popular way to meet a partner.
Historically, finding love required people to physically venture out into the big, scary world, chat with complete strangers, and look for a suitable partner. When compared to that, online dating seems simpler for millennials who take pride in their social anxiety. Meeting and interacting with strangers from the comfort of one’s home has not only made dating in itself much easier but also broadened horizons for people who’ve moved to a city. Moreover, the fact that these apps are accommodating for all sexual orientations, genders and ages, actually makes it easier for people from minority groups to look for a partner.
However, dating apps have also contributed to a new online culture of ‘ghosting’ and fake profiles. In a survey conducted by www.bankmycell.com, 27% of the women and 36% of the men admitted to being ghosted as well as ghosting someone. Moreover, 53% of dating app users have admitted to lying on their profiles - women mainly about their looks and men about their financial situations.
Nowadays, dating websites are looked at as modern substitutes for personal advertisements. And we know what the sole purpose of an advert is - to persuade your audience to buy/try out that particular product, service or idea. Therefore, the dating profiles may not be the most accurate account of a person and their real life.
Lastly, perception plays a key role in determining relationship outcomes. When one believes that a dating site can accurately match them with a compatible partner, one’s likelihood of success increases. Christian Rudder, the co-founder of the popular OkCupid, experimented on the users of his site to explore the influence of perception. In his experiment, he took bad matches, those who matched by 30 percent, and told them that they matched by 90 percent. When users believed they were a 90 percent match, they were more likely to contact and even like each other.
By now, we think we have reached the conclusion that it all depends on your motivations behind using the app. While there are plenty of people out there who still find fun flings or real connections in real life, and while some would still rather do it that way, it's safe to say that online dating does work in some shape or form. Whether you end up only learning about yourself and what you're looking for, or you establish a long-term commitment—or even if you form a real connection with someone who ultimately doesn't work out—online dating can help one grow.
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